As a Behavior Therapist who is trying to help people overcome their anxieties and fears, I have found this approach to be the the most effective way for increasing the chances of establishing desired behaviors, and putting the fear to sleep. It is based on the well-established strategy of Exposure and Response Prevention, (ERP).
To phrase it slightly differently, we have to practice the desired behavior before the primitive fear mechanism can learn that the new behavior is “safe”
Fear, anxiety, panic, embarrassment are all part of a primitive defensive mechanism that has been around for millions of years. The point of the mechanism is make us act very cautiously, because, in a primitive world, if we wandered too far from our safe area, we would likely end up as somebody else’s dinner.
This primitive system was, and still is, a very important part of our everyday lives. It is an extremely powerful force, and it follows very simple rules that are worth remembering:
- Fear watches what you do.
- If you get into any kind of trouble, it immediately prepares you to escape.
- So the next time you get close to a similar situation, it remembers what you did the last time, and gets to escape BEFORE you get into trouble.
Fear hates change. New event are dangerous. Play it safe. Don’t go too far from the nest, because if you do, you are likely to end up dead.
However, in this new world we live in, NOT taking risks can be dangerous. It can result in missed opportunities, procrastination, a life in dead-end jobs, and so on. It is the people who take risks who get most of the spoils.
Fortunately, in this modern world, compared to the days of anarchy, when we take risks today, failure is rarely the end of the world. We are more likely to just lose our shirts compared to the old days, where taking a risk could easily lead to losing our heads!
So in order to weaken fear which is obsessed with safety, we have to challenge it and walk towards situations that the fear say we should avoid. And if we fail, we simply still alive to get up and try again.
We have to act as if the world is safe, and defy that the screams of that scared primitive animal who is watching us leave our safe zone. The more often we can challenge the fear in any situation, and show it that the changes are beneficial for survival in today’s world, the sooner the fear will learn that change is OK.
If we continually face fear this way, it loses its power. Rather than being a crippling force, we begin to see fear as even exciting and challenging.
We are really not faking anything. We are simply teaching the fear that excessive caution is not needed in this modern world.
We are simply doing what we have always wanted to do, but were prevented by a primitive, out-of-date, force.
