Tag: Motivation

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What other things can I do when I don’t feel like studying?

 I often don’t feel like doing tasks that I know I should be doing. And probably most of the time the feelings win, because it always seems easier to follow my feelings, rather than my knowledge.

If I try to follow my feelings, there is the immediate gratification of, “Ah, I don’t have to do it now, I’ll wait till I feel like it.” Feels good.

If I try to follow what I know I should do, the immediate response is pain. “I really don’t want to do it now, and I don’t see any immediate reward.” Feels bad.

Whether we like it or not, we are built to go for the quick fix.

So if you want to increase the chances of doing an uncomfortable task, attach some sort of quick fix soon after starting the task.

  • It can be something as simple as “I don’t start drinking my first cup of coffee until I have studied for 5 minutes. After savoring a few sips of coffee, repeat this behavior for the next 5 minutes. Repeat several times, and then take a 15 minute break.
  • Also, once you have practiced this type of behavior, (usually for about a couple of weeks), you begin to notice that you feel good even before you start the new habit.

This simple type of reinforcement can be used to increase the chances of doing any sort of behavior that you have a tendency to avoid.

I use this strategy for lots of daily chores that otherwise not be done until later.

  • I can use it for very simple things, such as taking out the garbage before reading the paper.
  • Each morning, I work for 30 minutes on tedious paper work that never comes to an end. Each short tedious task is interspersed with drinks of my morning coffee. (This strategy has been working for years.)
  • In the evening, I have to file items on my desk before leaving for home. (At this point, it’s so automatic, and I hardly notice doing it.)
  • In general, I use this strategy for many things in life. It makes life more comfortable, and I don’t feel a such a slave to my tendency to procrastinate.

Bottom line: If you have a tendency to procrastinate about important tasks, make life more comfortable by giving yourself a quick fix immediately after you have done at least part of the task.

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Does a “fake it ’til you make it” attitude toward life actually work?

As a Behavior Therapist who is trying to help people overcome their anxieties and fears, I have found this approach to be the the most effective way for increasing the chances of establishing desired behaviors, and putting the fear to sleep. It is based on the well-established strategy of Exposure and Response Prevention, (ERP).

To phrase it slightly differently, we have to practice the desired behavior before the primitive fear mechanism can learn that the new behavior is “safe”

Fear, anxiety, panic, embarrassment are all part of a primitive defensive mechanism that has been around for millions of years. The point of the mechanism is make us act very cautiously, because, in a primitive world, if we wandered too far from our safe area, we would likely end up as somebody else’s dinner.

This primitive system was, and still is, a very important part of our everyday lives. It is an extremely powerful force, and it follows very simple rules that are worth remembering:

  • Fear watches what you do.
  • If you get into any kind of trouble, it immediately prepares you to escape.
  • So the next time you get close to a similar situation, it remembers what you did the last time, and gets to escape BEFORE you get into trouble.

Fear hates change. New event are dangerous. Play it safe. Don’t go too far from the nest, because if you do, you are likely to end up dead.

However, in this new world we live in, NOT taking risks can be dangerous. It can result in missed opportunities, procrastination, a life in dead-end jobs, and so on. It is the people who take risks who get most of the spoils.

Fortunately, in this modern world, compared to the days of anarchy, when we take risks today, failure is rarely the end of the world. We are more likely to just lose our shirts compared to the old days, where taking a risk could easily lead to losing our heads!

So in order to weaken fear which is obsessed with safety, we have to challenge it and walk towards situations that the fear say we should avoid. And if we fail, we simply still alive to get up and try again.

We have to act as if the world is safe, and defy that the screams of that scared primitive animal who is watching us leave our safe zone. The more often we can challenge the fear in any situation, and show it that the changes are beneficial for survival in today’s world, the sooner the fear will learn that change is OK.

If we continually face fear this way, it loses its power. Rather than being a crippling force, we begin to see fear as even exciting and challenging.

We are really not faking anything. We are simply teaching the fear that excessive caution is not needed in this modern world.

We are simply doing what we have always wanted to do, but were prevented by a primitive, out-of-date, force.

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How can I stop overthinking and take action more quickly?

Here is a simple strategy that many people have found useful for speeding up decision making. It is a way of overcoming procrastination in general, and does not take a lot of effort. However, it needs consistent practice if you want it to be effective for the rest of your life. I have used it daily for years. I call the strategy Thinking and Doing.

First of all, a couple of points about why procrastination is such a popular, but frustrating, pastime:

  1. Delaying making a decision is a “safe”thing to do, because it prevents you from making a mistake right now.
  2. The trouble is, every time you delay, you get a small feeling of relief, but automatically your brain makes you more anxious about making future decisions.
  3. So you end up in a vicious cycle where your delaying behavior is rewarded, and your decision-making becomes more difficult.

So how do you reverse this destructive process?

We all know that the standard answer for getting over our fears is to face them. The question is how to learn to face them and win. And the answer is to practice first with making easy trivial decisions. Each day you need to practice making rapid decisions about things that are slightly outside your comfort zone.

To give an example:

Whenever a thought comes into your head that requires an action, you decide to complete that action immediately, wherever practical. To be more specific:

  1. Each task needs to be done immediately, as it crops up in your head.
  2. The tasks should be as simple as possible, such as:
    • making a phone call you need to make,
    • paying a bill,
    • taking out the garbage,
    • picking up a piece of clothing off the floor and putting it away,
    • getting out of bed,
    • doing the dishes

Whatever the task, make sure you do it

  • as quickly as possible,
  • as soon as possible,
  • and don’t stop until you have finished the task.

Decide to do at least 10 trivial tasks a day; the more the merrier.

Obviously what may be trivial for one person may be extremely difficult for the next. But the major point of this simple exercise is that the more of these trivial tasks you do, the sooner you will notice that it is getting easier to make decisions about more difficult tasks.

If you practice this simple exercise for a couple of weeks, you will notice a remarkable change:

  • Your feelings of discomfort about decision-making will begin to subside.
  • Rather than seeing the task as uncomfortable, you will begin to perceive it as challenging, exciting, and, on occasion, exhilarating.
  • You will also begin to get a stronger feeling of being in control.

By facing these mild feelings of discomfort this way, you will find that it is a lot easier to make more rapid decisions about your more significant decisions. Of course this does not mean that you won’t make wrong decisions at times. But your fear of making mistakes will decrease as you find out that we can gain a lot of useful information from your errors.