The problem: We worry for a reason. We are trying to escape from an uncomfortable thought. (Obviously, if the thought were not creating discomfort, we wouldn’t be worried!)
The answer: We have to stop trying to escape from the thought.
There is a well-established technique called Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), that works well for these worrisome thoughts, and it involves facing the thought, rather than trying to get rid of it. Anxiety, fear and worry always decrease if we practice facing our fears.
The procedure:
To stop worrying, you can try the following strategy.
- Get relaxed and breathe as gently as you can for about 5 minutes.
- Next, choose a particular worrisome thought. Something not too scary to begin with.
- Now focus on that thought for the next 15 minutes. Do not try to escape from that disturbing thought. If the thought fades, keep chasing it. Don’t let the thought escape.
- It is very important to stay relaxed and very still during the whole 15 minutes of exposure.
- Repeat at least once a day until the thought gets absolutely boring.
- Now repeat this strategy with other worrisome thoughts.
What to expect:
- The fear may get worse for the first two or three trials.
- But within about 10-20 repetitions, you will find yourself getting bored.
- More importantly, when the thought appears spontaneously, it also feels boring, which is opposite to worrying.
- As you work with several thoughts this way, you will notice that your thoughts in general get less worrying.
The Reason Why This Works:
- What your brain is doing in this process is teaching your primitive fear mechanism, (fight or flight) mechanism not to be so reactive to thoughts.
- This method is sometimes called Imaginal Flooding, or Progressive Exposure.
- It is very effective, if practiced diligently, with the most troublesome of thoughts.
Bottom Line:
Anxiety, Worry, Fear. These emotions, whether triggered by external events, or by thoughts, can be conquered by steadily facing them, rather than trying to escape.