It seems such a waste of time to worry about ridiculous things, but it’s amazing how many people get trapped in this vicious cycle. It falls into the category of irrational fears. If you want to stop this type of worrying, you need to know how worry works in our heads.
I have worked with hundreds of worriers over the years, with a variety of techniques. I get the best results using an exposure technique where I get people to stop trying to come up with an answer , and learn to live with the doubt. You say to yourself “Maybe I didn’t go to my singing lesson, but it’s not the end of the world”. We get into trouble when we demand certainty, and the peace of mind that it temporary brings. And then comes the next thing to worry about!
The more we demand certainty, the more we fill ourselves with anxiety. Life will always be full of uncertainties. The more we practice tolerating uncertainty, the sooner we can shrug our shoulders when we get these trivial doubts.
This technique may sound counter-intuitive, but it is a well-researched and has been used in Behavior Therapy for at least 30 years. It is also used with people suffering from OCD and who are having severe ruminative thoughts. It’s officially called Graded Exposure and Response Prevention. A helpful, very practical, book about this problem is call “The Imp of the Mind,” by Lee Baer, PhD.
